Leanne Nalani

{August 12, 2013}   Maintenance and Obesession

It’s so strange that one week can feel like a month when it comes to cravings. Yesterday I’m thinking about ice cream and sweets, thinking it’s been a long time and I’ve been really good! Wait… Has it really not even been a week since I stuffed myself full of red velvet cake and chocolate cake? Wasn’t it just last Tuesday that I ate nothing but candy and sweets on the way home from Montana (in between bouts of sleeping)? Oh crap, and I had that pizza on Wednesday, huh?


Well, I’ve taken everyone’s advice to heart and have been practicing a few new things this past week including more rest days, more food, less exercise, less dairy, and less sugar. I said I was gaining a little bit more weight but that made sense considering all the vacation eating and PMS. Yesterday I snuck on the scale and it was down almost 4 pounds! My body doesn’t typically fluctuate like that, but I’ll take it.


Maybe letting go and enjoying life a little bit is effective in being healthy and not gaining weight. Maybe allowing the occasional indulgence without worry is fine. Maybe only exercising 4-5 days a week for 30-45 minutes is acceptable for maintenance. Dairy wasn’t nearly as hard to limit as I thought. Sugar on the other hand… Well, I’m not going to worry too much about that because it’s damn near impossible for me to get less than 85 grams daily.

Deep down (or not so deep down) is that crippling fear of gaining ALL the weight back. Maybe that’s why, on my journey, I’ve become so obsessive. What comes out on this blog as, “Oh no! I’m up 5 pounds!” (which sounds ridiculous) is really me thinking, “It’s all over! Tomorrow I’m going to be 75 pounds heavier!” Because I’ve done that before. I’ve gained ALL the weight back. 4 times. The all or nothing mentality comes naturally with a journey like mine.

This has probably been the longest I’ve kept it off, about a year and a half. The one year mark was a big deal, but I hear the 5 year mark is the one that matters the most as an indicator that the lifestyle change has truly been achieved. That doesn’t take away from how far I’ve come, but it’s something to remember. It’s probably something that adds to my fear of gaining weight because it means I’m not out of the woods. Then again, is anyone ever “out of the woods” when they’ve struggled with weight their entire life?


You’re doing great Leanne! I’m glad you’re enjoying life a bit and not stressing about it so much, although I totally get the fear of gaining it all back. Totally. The great thing is you’re not throwing in the towel and trying to find what works. You’ve got this!

fitin52 says:

Aack! I just love you hon! You have a way of saying things that really hit home. I’ve “maintained” weight loss for several years, but only in that I’ve never gained it ALL back – just lots of it. Hence, here I am still working on being that size 8 I’ve never been in my entire life. ::sigh:: LOL! Well I love reading your journey as it helps inspire me and keep me motivated. And, most importantly, it helps me know I’m not alone, that others understand, and that I am a normal person who just sometimes has crazy moments 🙂

I love that. We all have crazy moments. I sound like a nutter sometimes but really I’m pretty normal… I think? lol Maybe aside from my issues with food, but we’re not alone in that at all. Luckily there’s a lot of people in the blogosphere who share similar plights.

Congratulations on your maintenance and thank you for the honesty in your post – I definitely relate to the things you mentioned! Not wanting to gain weight can feel really stressful but I find that the more controlled I am the more likely I am to gain (perhaps because of the stress hormone cortisol?) whereas when I relax a little about it, and stick to an 80/20 rule (healthy food 80% of the time, naughty treats for the remaining 20%), and don’t overexercise that’s when my body finds its happy weight 🙂

I love hearing that I’m not alone or just some crazy person dealing with these issues. 🙂 I agree with you that relaxing a bit on the health regimen makes it easier to follow the 80/20 rule. The funny thing is that I tend to be a bit “type A”, so I’m always competing against myself to be “perfect”. That’s why I have to force myself to relax. haha

april says:

I know the feeling. I have lost 144 lbs to date, and for the first 100 lbs I would panic about regaining (and I won’t lie, there was a point that I regained 20 lbs). I do tell myself to be reasonable….little gains are normal, and I use the scale more reasonably now. This isn’t to say that I don’t panic sometimes. I do, but I keep it in check.
You are doing a great job with your weight loss. Congrats!

Thanks! Wow, 144 pounds is a lot to lose, go your team! I’ve regained weight so many times but I’m finally figuring out how to not gain it all back this time. But yeah, that little panicky feeling still hangs out in the back of my mind.

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