Leanne Nalani

{November 14, 2013}   Angst

Pissed Off

It’s funny how the comment of one insignificant, catty person can emotionally screw up your day. Maybe even your week. I don’t want to bore you with the details, but at work someone said something passive-aggressive to me in front of our colleagues that caused me some undue stress. I’m naturally a stress-ball and don’t usually deal well with these things since I have anxiety issues.

unless you think im awesome

After hashing things out by venting to my sister I feel a lot better about myself in particular. I’ve come out of the rut feeling angry, though. I feel bitter. I just want to say screw you to all my colleagues, even though it was only one person who pissed me off. It’s not a great way to end the week.

Health & Maintenance

I’ve been doing well with taking care of my body, at least. Yesterday at the staff meeting there was a lot of chocolate which was tempting. I chewed gum but eventually succumbed and ate several pieces. The stress was really getting to me and my mind was wandering to bigger, less healthy things. Somehow I managed to re-frame my thinking so that I could get through the evening’s student led conferences, go home, and eat a normal dinner rather than binging. By the end of the day I was well within my calorie limit so it wasn’t a wash.

Something about maintenance is that, after a while, people stop talking about the weight loss and you stop getting comments/compliments/ questions about it. When all of that stops it’s hard to stay as motivated. It’s been almost 2 years now, so that’s to be expected. That’s fine, it happens.

On Tuesday for some reason I got two comments from students. Maybe it was the outfit I wore. One girl was waiting for the counselor and saw me in the hallway. She said, “Have you gotten smaller?” She’s doing Running Start so I haven’t seen her since I first lost all the weight a couple years ago. She asked me what I did to lose the weight.

An hour later one of my senior girls said, “It must be weird that everyone’s bigger than you, even the students.” When I told her that I thought we were about the same size she looked at me incredulously and asked what size jeans I was wearing. I told her and she said she could maybe fit one of her legs in that size (totally untrue, but you get the point).

Even though I’ve gained some weight recently it’s nice to get reminders that those extra pounds don’t make such a huge of a difference. It’s not the end of the world and those pounds can be lost again.

Biggest Loser

Is anyone watching Biggest Loser this season? They’ve made some pretty significant changes and I am liking all of the things they’ve done so far. The show has been reduced to one hour instead of two. They’ve gotten rid of voting!

While voting used to be entertaining the way people would turn on each other and it would become a nasty drama-fest, I like that there is none of that this season. The contestants can focus more on their health and being a part of a team rather than gaining weight on purpose so they can “swing the vote” or whatever.

the-biggest-loser-season15-nbc (1)


I struggle with letting that stress and “little things” get to me, specifically in the work place as well. I think it really gets to me because it’s important to me that I am portrayed as professional…so when I feel like that is jeopardized, I’m not a happy camper.

That is exactly what happened, too! I know I’m an excellent teacher and am very professional, but that one little comment felt completely unfair and uncalled for.

I can imagine…sometimes I just need some time away from it all to refocus my mind. I had a day where I literally cried to my boss last week. I left feeling so awful, but worked really hard to turn it around and be positive moving forward. so far it’s working…some days are easier than others though

j!b says:

I had an incident a couple months ago, where a co-worker made a very rude comment towards me, in front of my other co-workers. I think he said it out of frustration but still no excuse. I was so upset afterwards. I don’t think I can ever forget what he said to me, and now I never feel the need to do him any favors.

I know what you mean. I’d like to think of my colleagues as teammates since there are only around 20 of us, but situations like this make me feel alienated. Comments that cause emotional distress are the ones that are so hard to push away and hard to forget.

I watched this week’s Biggest Loser with my husband – he doesn’t let me watch it with him often because I rant about the unhealthy and unrealistic aspects of the whole thing. I did like seeing the girl from last season (Lisa?) who went on to lose a lot of weight after leaving the Ranch and just did her first marathon. Very cool. 🙂 I was disturbed by the way they handled the whole caffeine supplement thing though – that should have been a bigger deal.

Good point, it really is completely unrealistic for weight loss. I love seeing the transformations, though. I don’t know much about the caffeine supplement thing, but when she said they had unlimited coffee I thought maybe caffeine supplements weren’t any worse. I wouldn’t really know, though.

Teachers are like that I find..it is really the most unpleasant thing about our profession! I am sorry that happened to you!

Thank you. I may have been blowing it slightly out of proportion but it left me feeling bad enough that it probably doesn’t matter whether or not her true intentions were malicious. I feel better now, though.

Cassy says:

Ugh I hate that. I am really sensitive with remarks like that… :/ Especially since I have this “I want everyone to like me” thought process… so it devastates me when people don’t. haha But hugs, we all here think you are awesome! =D

I have actually been watching the Biggest Loser now that I have cable (I haven’t watched like the past… 6 or so seasons, though. haha). I am kinda torn on the whole caffeine supplement thing. I think it was more of a ploy to bring Ruben back on the show. :/ Caffeine supplements really aren’t that big of a deal if being used to replace coffee or caffeinated beverages which I am sure most of those contestants are addicted to. I dunno… it is just a crappy situation. Blue Team is really rocking it, though!

I’m the same way. I want to be friendly and open with everyone and I want everyone to like me all the time. I know that’s not possible because people are all very different, though! Oh well.
I agree that I thought they were using the caffeine supplement thing to bring Ruben back. That was my initial thought when they brought it up and it kind of made me mad I’m glad Ruben is back because I think he’s great, but the way they did it was stupid.
With the caffeine, I don’t know much about supplements. Are caffeine supplements the same as caffeine pills like NoDoz? Coffee is supposed to have other health benefits but I have no clue if the supplements are really better or worse than the unlimited coffee supply they have on the ranch.
Since I’m obsessed with Jillian Michaels I have to root for team white, but her teams never seem to win. lol

Cassy says:

I think most people use caffeine supplements so they can boost their metabolism (one of the benefits of caffeine) but without relying on caloric drinks. Coffee isn’t really bad, but I am guessing most people don’t drink it black. haha But there really isn’t anything big about caffeine supplements. It isn’t like it is a new thing. haha

I always cheer for Jillian too, but I don’t mind Bob either. He is pretty awesome too!

Good point about people mostly not drinking black coffee. I do, so I often forget that not everyone else does!

Cassy says:

I have gotten a lot better… I used to have 4 teaspoons of sugar and like 4 tablespoons of half and half in my coffee! Now I just have coffee with 2 tablespoons of almond milk. Huge improvement!

I definitely know a thing about workplace stress! Just have confidence in your worth, don’t let anyone steal that! I haven’t watched the Biggest Loser this year – I actually forgot it was starting! I intend on picking it up this week! Stay strong!

Thank you! Sometimes I need to take a step back and remind myself of all the things I do that make me a good teacher, and how my colleagues don’t see what I do as much because I am a special education teacher so my job is a lot different than theirs. I’m not constantly grading papers because I only have 20 students as opposed to 150 like all the rest. I also had all my lesson plans created over the summer so I don’t need to spend all the extra time working on those, either. Among other things. As a special education teacher I have other priorities to focus on.
You going to Hulu Biggest Loser? You should!

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