Successes
- Down .6 – Small miracle. See struggles below.
- Strength trained 2 days.
- Exercised 5 days total.
- Ate 1300-1400 calories on most days.
- Prevented a binge on Friday. Ate 800 calories in chocolate and cookies at a school meeting anxious about a phone call (see below) and almost decided to go all out the rest of the night. Instead, I decided to stop eating. Period. Somehow managed to strength train just to distract myself and then didn’t eat anything until the next morning. Thanks, depression!
Struggles
- STRESS/ANXIETY/DEPRESSION – For those who may suffer from anxiety and/or depression, perhaps you can relate. Ever have those days where you just need to be alone and all you want is to curl up in a ball and hopefully fall asleep because you want to forget how incredibly anxious and stressed you are currently feeling? That was me on Friday and Saturday. I normally consider myself pretty even-keel most of the time but on rare occasions things like this happen and something always triggers it.
The trigger for me was not getting a call from the school that interviewed me on Tuesday. The interview went extremely well and I think I knocked it out of the park. They sounded really enthusiastic about me. The principal said she wanted to call me in a day or two. I felt like I needed to think about whether I wanted the position because it’s so different from what I’ve been doing. So then the principal and vice principal both agreed that they would contact me on Friday. Well, that day came and went. And I don’t take rejection well, especially after I’d started picturing myself in the role and getting excited about it. Silly me for getting my hopes up. I could have been great but now I just feel like a loser. It would have been nice to at least be given the dignity of an e-mail letting me know the reason for my rejection. Or hell, maybe that call they promised? They said they would call, not that they would call only if the answer was yes. That’s just the way things work, isn’t it?
- PMS – I don’t need to explain this. Just imagine PMS mixed with the above struggle. I should have gained weight with all the excess cortisol rushing through my system.
*Can you relate to anxiety/depression experiences?
*Do you deal well with rejection? (Yes, I know I should just get over it and move on)
Hopefully you had a far better weekend than me!
Leanne Nalani 
I’m sorry that you didn’t get the call you were waiting for on Friday. 😦 I know it is hard to not let it upset you, but everything happens for a reason and I am sure an even better job is waiting for you soon. 🙂
Thank you. I am trying to keep that frame of mind that it is fate either way and that I will find something over the summer.
Nothing wrong with taking a day to be anxious while waiting for a call, the key is not to let it drag on.
Exactly. This one lasted a couple days but I am feeling much better now!
I know how those days feel. I had a day I couldn’t get comfortable in my own skin. Like my life wasn’t mine, it didn’t fit. Those are the days I want to eat. Everything.
I also don’t do well with rejection…also part of the reason I have so much weight to lose. It’s so important to learn how to deal with those things, as I am still learning. Hoping this week isn’t so stressful for you. ❤
Dealing with these stressful things is difficult because dealing with rejection is one of those skills it would be nice to have been taught. Or at least it would have been good to have been encouraged to fail sometimes. I’m too much of a perfectionist so if things don’t go exactly as I planned I become a huge drama queen. :p But yeah, this week so far has been full of cravings at every moment and it’s getting harder and harder to resist them.
I know exactly what you mean about wanting to just curl up and let the day be over. PMS mixed with all of that would make for a horrible day. I hope you’re feeling better!
I think I’m feeling a lot better compared the the weekend. My only problem now is dealing with insane cravings every day. All I can think about is chocolate and ice cream. I read something yesterday about high cortisol from stress mixed with low serotonin from PMS being a perfect storm for disaster and that’s exactly what is happening right now!
I can totally relate! Perhaps their plans have been delayed and they weren’t able to call for some reason? If you don’t get the job, for whatever reason, there is a good reason for it even if you don’t know what the reason is yet. GREAT job resisting the all-out binge!!